Mental illness

Everyday a constant struggle. You fight and fight but you never win, you lose every single time and you don't know why. until you realize, you are sick. But not just any type of sick like having a fever, a rash, a stuffy nose, a horrible cough. No, this is the sickness that no one can see, you can only feel it. it's worse than having a fever, rash, a stuffy nose or a horrible cough. You are physically tired; tired not even the right word, you are exhausted. you feel alone in a crowded room. You isolate yourself from other people. You feel numb & alone. You want other people to notice your pain but you don't know how to show it. You want help but you don't know how to ask for it. You wish someone would just do a nice gesture towards you for once. But no, you hide it from everyone, you secretly want people to see but at the same time you want to keep it hidden. You don't want people thinking you're crazy or something. You want to be normal and fit in but the mental illness is keeping you from it.
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after everything you've been through, you deserve to get roses on your doorstep. You deserve to be looked up to. You deserve all the happiness in the world. you deserve to love someone and be loved backed. you got this. You may think you're alone but so many people are feeling what you're feeling. There is someone around you that's feeling the same pain you are feeling they just don't show it. You're not alone.

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